How to Not Let Your Emotions Define Your Identity

Are you dealing with a flood of emotions and it’s taking a toll on you? Check out this blog and learn how to not let your emotions define your identity.

Did you feel like an emotion took control over you, and you started losing touch with your own self?

Well, most of us have experienced this, but the important part is your reaction.

Were you overwhelmed by your own thoughts, or did you take a moment to notice what exactly was going on?

To manage your emotions, try recognizing that you aren’t those emotions. You just feel them.

Emotions are a critical part of what you are, but they’re not who you are. Yes, they can be complicated, messy, and confusing, but they shouldn’t control your life; instead they should guide you forward on your path.

Remember, you have a choice to make:

Are you going to give these emotions the space they need to take control, or are you going to put them aside?

Now that you’ve taken the time to notice how you feel, you can choose to gently guide emotions back into their house and close the door behind it.

I’m stressing “gently” here.

The key is to remain filled with love and compassion toward yourself and these emotions.

Be patient with yourself.

There was a time when I used to suppress my emotions. For years, I lacked the strength and coping mechanisms needed to deal with it, but deep down, I knew there was more to me than suppressing these emotions.

Slowly, I started to understand that what matters is not the sensation of my emotions; it is how I consciously decide to react to them.

Here are a few essential rules you can follow not to let your emotions define your identity:

#Rule 1: Emotions are neither good nor bad:

We must realise that there are no “good” or “bad” emotions. We tend to label emotions as sadness, jealousy, anger, happiness or excitement.

But the truth is, both positive and negative emotions play a vital role in our lives. It won’t be fair if we do not allow ourselves to fully experience either end of the spectrum.

#Rule 2: You are not your emotions. You are just experiencing them:

Always remember your emotions don’t define you.
You cannot be labelled as:

A sad person, if you’ve been feeling sad lately.
A failure if you got rejected from your dream job.
A weak person if you feel anxious.
A coward if you are scared of something.
You’re not the emotion, mind or body. You’re not the feeling, thought or sensation.

You’re the being underneath that observes and responds.

So, from now on, commit to acknowledging and recognizing emotions as they begin to arise.

Let your feelings temporarily resonate and allow them to just be.

Take a step back, observe your feelings and gently distance yourself from this stream of emotions.


Remember that this process needs to be practised and will require patience. Keep loving yourself, and step by step, you will build the necessary strength to face whatever is coming up. Acknowledge it, put it aside, and allow your true self to exist fully.

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